The Croc Trophy - a man's perspective!
by Ryan Lindsay
What would entice you to spend ten days redesigning your most delicate personal garden on an unforgiving bike seat over 1200km of hells own backyard in one of the toughest, nastiest mountain bike races in the world? And what would stop you giving up on day one?
As a man, and I am one, it would be the glory, the adulation and the bragging rights of finishing and the fear of ridicule and derision of not.
Women don't think that way, that's why they are good and men are knobs.
Some say the Crocodile Trophy was dreamed up by the Marque De Sade while suffering haemorrhoids, wearing a tight leather cod-piece and standing in the rain. Known as the Tour de France of Mountain Biking, the infamous Croc Trophy consists of ten stages covering more than 1200km of dust and corrugations in blistering, bone drying heat from Cairns to Cape Tribulation.
Three tough chicks from Far North Queensland are training full tilt for an assault on this year's event. Sponsored by SheSpoke, a local women's cycle wear company, they form the first all female team to enter this challenging event.
The more mature one of the bunch (the one who should really know better) is Sharman Parr. Sharman is a veteran silly person with a litany of achievements that make Bear Gryles look like a lady-man. She has cycled the classic mountain stages of the Pyrenees, competed in the XPD adventure race, completed the Hawaii Ironman and peddled through the Simpson Desert.
Sharman is the personification of persistence. My mate is a Rescue Crewman guy, one of those hero type macho blokes you see on TV swinging from a gossamer thin wire under a thundering helicopter rescuing a whole nursing home of old folks from rising flood waters. I once saw him hunched over like a wilting celery stalk vomiting on his new $3500 running shoes after staggering up a less than impressive hill during a triathlon. Now I am not sure if he completed the race, but I do know that Sharman once vomited noodles through her nose in the middle of the Simpson Desert and continued peddling through Satan's Velodrome to become the first ever female to finish the race.
Lauretta Howarth is the second inspirational member of this trio. Ret or Rip Tear as she is known is tough. If Ret were a car she would be a Toyota Hilux. Flint is less tough than Ret. The nick name comes from her ability to damage clothing, usually lent to her by friends. If it's not lycra, stretch cotton, polypropylene or prison grade denim Lauretta will damage it.
Apart from her reputation with clothing Lauretta has a pretty formidable list of sporting achievements including competing at state and national level in hockey, athletics and oztag. In 2003 she smashed up the Langkawi Ironman triathlon winning her age group on her first attempt. On her days off Ret can be found riding like a crazy person through the rainforests around Cairns or running or hiking or paddling. Basically Lauretta doesn't stop much, a bit like those Duracell bunnies.
The final member of the team is Maree Roberts.
Now you can forget riding through the Simpson Desert with noodles streaming from your nostrils or running a marathon through the humid jungles of Malaysia. These are mere jaunts! Maree faces far more daunting prospects everyday. When it comes to facing adversity Maree is a rock. Sure Maree has ridden the notorious Bump Track on a bike with NO suspension (to put that in perspective, if Pamela Anderson were to ride the Bump Track sitting on a Jason recliner nestled into a cumulonimbus cloud supported by eight huge Nubian men, her boobs would wobble). It's not Maree's leisure pursuits that make her perhaps the most formidable of the trio it's the fact she is a parking officer!
Maree may not have the history of "do or die" events to fall back on for an undertaking like the Croc Trophy, but she, like Lauretta and Sharman have the vision, the drive and the tenacity to put themselves out there and to try something totally extraordinary. Ego isn't a factor. Their goal is to finish. Men just want the T-shirt.
And to help achieve their goal these three extraordinary women have a secret weapon, a weapon that has become part of female lore. It is the thing that drives them on through the torturous training sessions and will propel them over kilometre after kilometre of bone shaking, strength sapping, and muscle cramping climbs. It is the thing that, like the gentle cradling hug from a mother, supports and nurtures when will and determination crumble. When all else seems lost and despair threatens there is always the LOLLY.
Men don't understand about lollies. Men see mountains as mountains. Women see mountains as a series of short climbs punctuated by lollies. Sharman knows it. Lauretta knows it. And Maree knows it.
These women face an arduous challenge. They are inspirational, determined and exceptional and so long as they have a pocket full of red frogs, snakes and jelly beans, who knows what they can achieve.
GO GIRLS!!